Adoption Profiles From a Birth Mother's Point Of View
Post Date: June 9th, 2011
Recently I spoke with two birth mothers, Aubrey and Erin, about adoption profile books and what made them choose the family that they ended up choosing for their child. Whether you are a potential adoptive family beginning the process of creating your adoption profile, or you’re a birth family beginning to select a family, Aubrey and Erin had some great advice for everyone.
Aubrey and Erin both agreed that the adoption profiles that had a good balance of photos and words were better than the ones that were too wordy, or had too many photos.
“I got four profiles and one of them was mostly pictures, and one was mostly words,” Aubrey said. “The family that I picked was a nice balance of both. That stood out to me.”
When selecting the pictures, make sure that each one serves a purpose. Erin said that her favorite photos showed the families doing activities they enjoyed.
“The family that I chose had some pictures of the home that they live in. They were doing things like cooking or gardening, and I liked that (because) I could picture my daughter living with them,” Erin said. “It made it more real for me and able to feel more comfortable.”
Aubrey also said she looked for pictures that were more candid because it showed off the family’s personalities.
Both women agreed that it’s important to know a potential adoptive families interests. Aubrey said that she wanted to know what the families were all about, and what they liked to do, by the end of each profile.
“It made me feel a lot safer with picking (a family) that I knew their personality,” Aubrey said.
Erin’s advice for birth parents is to remember you are a picking a forever family for your child.
“Pick the family you can picture your child with. Make sure that they have the ideals that you want to share with your child if you kept him or her…if you never went camping traveled and you think that would be a fun childhood and would like your child to experience that part of life, then look for profiles that include that,” Erin said. “If it’s open adoption, also remember that you may have contact (with the family) for the rest of your life. Don’t pick a family that you wouldn’t want to live with.”
Tags: "Making an Adoption Plan", Adoption profiles, Adoption STAR, Adoptive parents, Birth mother, Birth Parents, Closed adoption, open adoption
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Positive Adoption Terms: “Search”
Earlier this afternoon I wrote a blog post about a birth father searching for his birth son. The article, while interesting, used such negative adoption terms as
Day when I gave my child up for adoption there were no agencies like this. I had to make the decision to give my baby up to family how my lawyer new and only chatted with over the phone, I was given a lot of promises that were not true. I am so glad to see in agency such as this, that offers birthmothers the chance to choose a family in a truly informed manner. My heart is overwhelmed for them. It is a far braver choice to gi e your baby a chance to live a good life, rather than abortion or keeping the child. It is the most selfless thing anyone can do, allowing them the chance to be actively involved in the choice of who adopts their child ensures the birth mom peace of mind with her decision. Open adoptions were not happening when I gave my baby up. I am envious of the choices now available. God bless you all for your service to these families.
Cheryl – I just wanted to say a quick “thank you” for your touching comments. I appreciate your candor, honesty and insight. I’m proud of Adoption STAR and its committment to ensuring expectant mothers and fathers are well-educated on the option of adoption (should they have an interest in learning more about adoption planning).