Infertility and Adoption

For many individuals and couples, considering adoption is not always a first step, rather considering whether or not to continue trying to get pregnant or continuing fertility treatments may need to be addressed first.

Below is a self-assessment tool that may assist you with this exploration. After this quiz, you may wish to take a second one related to adoption readiness (found at the end of the quiz below.)

 

As you contemplate adoption, it is important to know that adoption may cure childlessness but it doesn’t cure infertility. The questionnaire below may help you see that you are ready or not ready to consider adoption at this time.

 

Are You Ready To Consider Not Trying to Get Pregnant?

 

This questionnaire is only for you. You do not need to share your answers with anyone else. Answer the following questions honestly so you can utilize this questionnaire as a self-assessment tool to help you determine your plans in the future.

 

1.Do you spend time imagining the child of your dreams-the perfect (or not so perfect) combination of you and your spouse’s genes?

 

___ Frequently ___ Sometimes ___ Rarely ___ Never

 

2.Do you long to be pregnant or see your partner pregnant?

 

___ Frequently ___ Sometimes ___ Rarely ___ Never

 

3.Does it bother you that future generations of your family will not be related by blood to you and your ancestors?

 

___ Frequently ___ Sometimes ___ Rarely ___ Never

 

4.Does it hurt you to see a pregnant woman or nursing mother?

 

___ Frequently ___ Sometimes ___ Rarely ___ Never

 

5.Do you find it hard to talk about your infertility without crying or experiencing intense emotions, or do you avoid talking about your infertility at all?

 

___ Frequently ___ Sometimes ___ Rarely ___ Never

 

6.Do you feel angry when dealing with your infertility?

 

___ Frequently ___ Sometimes ___ Rarely ___ Never

 

7.Do you feel like you are less of a woman or man because you can’t biologically have a child?

 

___ Frequently ___ Sometimes ___ Rarely ___ Never

 

8.Do you feel pressured to hurry up and get past infertility and get on with adoption and the rest of your life?

 

___ Frequently ___ Sometimes ___ Rarely ___ Never

 

9.Do you get angry at the thought of having to prove yourself worthy to adopt?

 

___ Frequently ___ Sometimes ___ Rarely ___ Never

 

10.Do you wish you could skip all the adoption education and just jump straight to the part where a child is in your home?

 

___ Frequently ___ Sometimes ___ Rarely ___ Never

 

11.Deep down do you feel like you are being forced to adopt if you want to have children?

 

___ Frequently ___ Sometimes ___ Rarely ___ Never

 

12.Do you view adoption as “second best,” or that adoption is your “last resort” if you want to be able to have children?

 

___ Frequently ___ Sometimes ___ Rarely ___ Never

 

If you answered “frequently” to more than a few questions, you may need more time to grieve. Experiencing infertility may affect your intimacy and sex life as well as your finances and your dreams of pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding. It doesn’t have to rob you of parenthood.

 

It is important to realize that you do have control. You may feel like you don’t because your body is not doing what you want it to, but truly you have the ability to stay on the same path or change paths at any time. You make the time-line. You can choose to continue fertility treatments, choose to remain childfree, choose surrogacy or choose to consider foster care or adoption.

 

Thank you for utilizing this questionnaire. Just asking yourself these difficult questions may help you resolve issues relating to infertility that you might find beneficial to address and resolve prior to choosing another path.

 

If you feel ready to consider adoption, take the next quiz: Are You Ready To Consider Adoption?