Will My Child Hate Me For This Decision?

After hundreds and hundreds of adoptions, we can honestly say that we have found that children who have been adopted do not have negative thoughts or feelings regarding their birth parents. Adoption STAR also has adult adoptees as staff members and volunteers and is truly inspired by their positive adoption stories.

Your fear that your child will be upset with your decision is understandable, but often that fear comes from our own feelings of grief and loss. Saying goodbye is painful and difficult. Please know that you will always be your child’s birth mother and no adoption plan will ever change that.

There are so many adoptees, some are even celebrities today. Adoption is not odd or rare, but rather one way that a family is created by way of the gift which began with the child’s birth parents.

Adoptive parents share the child’s adoption story and birth family story with the child. The information provided to the child will be much of the information that you shared regarding your background, family, medical history, interests and hobbies, etc. Perhaps you have chosen to meet the adoptive parents or have a semi-open or open adoption and are able to provide information to the child yourself. This may be through the open adoption contact you chose or perhaps through a letter you wrote your child. One thing is certain, the adoptive parents will answer the child’s questions with sensitivity and with love and will explain how very difficult and unselfish your decision was. Whether or not you chose to be involved later in life, your child will be told that you cared so much for them that you put their needs ahead of your own.

Where Do I Start?