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From Our Social Media: Profiling Opportunities
“…I want my friend to know that making decisions will no longer be easy…That trying to fill the time that it takes to wait for a baby will become a major dilemma…that her answers to quest
Has adopted a baby boy!!
CONGRATULATIONS Bindu! Welcome home Vikram Deshawn!
Welcome! I am a single 41 year-old female of East Indian descent. I was born and raised in New York to parents who emigrated from India in the 1960s. I am a physician who specializes in Pulmonary and Critical Care Medicine and I am ready to start a family. I am so glad you are reading my profile. I can only hope to be of some comfort and support, as you embark on what must be one of the most important decisions you have made in your life.
Since I was a child I longed to have a family, but I never married. With my age, pregnancy is unlikely. Still, parenting a child continues to be very important to me. In South Asian culture, as in many others, adoption is natural, common, and regarded. Adoption has always been an option for me, and now that I have the financial and social resources to rear a child, adoption is the answer.
I was raised in a traditional Indian family. It was a very structured, nurturing and caring environment, where mutual respect was cultivated. Academics were stressed, but still we were children and allowed to be children, playing with the neighborhood kids, riding bicycles and playing games for hours. Education is important in my family. It was the means to success for generations, and I will continue to stress education to my child as my parents have for me. That being said, I will support my child in the endeavors of their choosing. I plan to love and respect my child. I plan to teach my child to respect themselves and others; to treat others as they would like to be treated themselves; to work hard and do the best that they can in anything that they do; to believe that they are unlimited in their accomplishment; and to know that they are loved no matter what they do or do not do. I hope to raise my child to be a successful and loving member of society. I plan on being open with my child and encourage a relationship with their birth parents and exploration of their identity. I look forward to sharing milestones with you, as I feel it is important for children to know from day one where they came from in every essence of its meaning.
I am the first-born child to Indian immigrants. My father is a physician and my mother stayed home to take care of me and my younger brother until we were in high school when she returned to school and became a nutritionist. They are both retired now and readily awaiting to be grandparents. I am blessed to have my parents living so close by. They still live on Long Island and we spend time with each other regularly. They are very supportive of my eagerness to adopt. My father is the eldest of seven siblings and while growing up their house was always filled with additional children from my grandparents‚ village. It was always a busy house that my father recalls fondly. Also having worked in healthcare, both of my parents are naturally accustomed to taking care of others and are eager to take care of a grandchild. When my brother Vinay was born, I was so excited to have a little brother. All I wanted to do was play with him and take care of him. Little did I know he would be my responsibility throughout most of our childhood. At times it would be a chore, but often welcomed. As we grew to be adults, my brother and I have become very close. He recently married Cecilia who is a very special and lovely person. I am so glad to call her my sister. They live near Los Angeles, CA, but we visit each other frequently. They are anxiously waiting to take part in the life of their niece/nephew.
As a child I dreamed someday I would get married and have children and live happily ever after. Somehow, the getting married part hasn’t happened yet. I have no regrets as I have found my career and my relationships with family and friends to be fulfilling. This community of family and friends is my village. Each and every one of them will take part in my little family. Actually, they already are, by being so supportive to me through this process.
I went to high school at John F. Kennedy High School in Plainview, NY and graduated in 1987 with honors. I then went to the Six-Year Medical Program at Boston University where I received my Bachelor of Arts in Medical Sciences, Cum Laude, and my Medical Degree in 1993. I stayed at BU for another 3 years for residency training in Internal Medicine. After completing residency, I moved back to New York for my fellowship training in Pulmonary and Critical Care Medicine at New York University (NYU) School of Medicine. Even after all this education, I still am learning and eager to grasp recent advances and new techniques in medicine, discover new cultures, explore new places, try new recipes, and appreciate art, literature and music of all kinds. I love to learn, AND I love to teach. Currently I teach medical students, medical residents, and critical care fellows from Mt. Sinai School of Medicine where I am an Assistant Professor, but I can’t wait to teach my child! So many things to see, do, and learn together, amazing!
I live in a 2 bedroom apartment with one and a half bathrooms on the 6th floor of a high rise doorman building in Manhattan. There are many families with young children who live in my building. The neighborhood I live in is residential with nearby bookstore, gym, movie theater, grocery, and pharmacy. PS 116 is on the same block as my building and includes kindergarten to 6th grade. It is a reputable and multi-cultural school where many of the children who live in my building and in the area go to school. I love my home and spending time in it (alone and with guests) since I had it renovated to suit me. My kitchen is my favorite as it is big enough for more than one person to comfortably work in (this is unlike many New York City apartments). This is important since I believe the kitchen and the living space (dining and living rooms) are the hearth and heart of the home. It is where I spend the most of my time while awake at home, and I hope it will only grow i n warmth with the addition of a child. The second bedroom is currently a study and guest room that I cannot wait to turn into a baby’s room. You will have to visit to experience it for yourself and see how cozy it is.
Traditions are an important part of being a family to maintain a feeling of togetherness and belonging, to impart values, and to maintain identity. I look forward to continuing to incorporate western and Indian/Hindu traditions at home as my parents did. I also look forward to starting new traditions with my child and hope to include birth parents as well. Identity and kinship is very important in a child’s life and being open with them and involving birth parents should enhance that.
After my fellowship training, I stayed on at NYU as an attending physician. My primary focus during my total of 10 years at NYU was translational molecular biology research investigating the human host response to pulmonary tuberculosis. My clinical duties were primarily in Bellevue Hospital. During this time, I succeeded in getting research funding and becoming a published scientist. However, I missed that human touch, and I decided to return to clinical medicine full time. My entire career I have been working in municipal hospitals (Boston City Hospital, Bellevue Hospital, and Veterans Administration (VA) facilities). These are the places where I know that my expertise is needed the most. I have spent some time in private facilities during training, but I get most satisfaction from being able to help the un- and under- insured. In 2006, I left NYU/Bellevue Hospital and my research and became a staff physician at the James J. Peters VA Medical Center. I have a clinical academic position at Mt. Sinai School of Medicine where I continue to teach medical students, medical residents and critical care fellows. I find that I am the most happy when I am teaching. The VA is a smaller facility where I have the chance to give back to our veterans who have sacrificed for our freedom. I continue to practice Pulmonary and Critical Care Medicine, and have taken on a new sub-specialty: Palliative Care Medicine. In this role, with the help of an interdisciplina ry team, we guide patients with chronic illnesses and their families, by facilitating their understanding of the illness and obtaining the information they need to make decisions regarding their healthcare based upon what they value in life. This role has brought new meaning to my career and overall satisfaction. I am one of the few who can truly say I love my job. Yet I know that there is more that I want out of life. Because I work in an academic setting, my schedule is not taxing, and I feel that I have adequate time (and resources) to raise a family.
I have a close network of friends in my village (figuratively and regionally) from high school, college, medical school and post graduate training. These are people I relied upon during difficult training days and even now. I have known my best friend Kate since high school. She is one of the most generous people I know and is wonderful with children. Indu and Ajay are a couple I met while at NYU. I consider them like my older sister and brother. They are so caring, energetic, and worldly. Indu is an amazing cook and very maternal. On the other hand, she is one of the most successful scientists I know. Yuri is a friend of mine from college. She and her husband just had a baby Eri. I visit Yuri and Eri once a month. It is so much fun watching Eri grow and learn. These are bright, reliable, and compassionate people that trust me as I trust them, and would be available to me and my child in the blink of an eye, in good times and in bad. Another group of dear friends that have withstood the test of time and are bonds forged during the time I spent in Boston; some of the most formative years in my life. Most live nearby and we gather often for special occasions, or just because. We even vacation together. One of my favorite vacations is when we rented a large house in Martha’s Vineyard. We played on the beach, cooked together, dined together; we had so much fun with the kids - it was a relaxing and fun time. We had such a good time, it has now become a regular event. It is so gratifying to spend time with my friends and their children, who are growing up revering me as their Aunty. Devin and Maya look forward to Aunt Bindu‚s visits. We play games, read together, build things together, and just plain have fun. These are special relationships that I treasure, and inspire me to raise my own child. There is great enthusiasm among my community of friends and family to welcome and care for my child.
I was raised in the Lingayat/Veerashiava sect of Hinduism, which I still practice. The philosophy behind my religion is that it is accepting of all individuals and religions; and divinity is within all of us and achieved by good thoughts and actions as well as hard work. Moreover, I am devoted to the power of the human spirit. I believe that introspection and our interactions with others while living and working together allow us to discover our great potential. I find my spirituality is especially supportive to me with the type of work I do. I also have knowledge, understanding and respect for other religions of the world, having grown up in New York. I would like to raise my child in the Lingayat/Hindu tradition, along with the appreciation of all religions. Just like traditions, I know it is important to explore the religious teachings and traditions of their birth family, in order for a child to develop a strong identity.
I love to explore life, travel the world, and enjoy family and friends. Even if we don’t travel abroad, I feel that a child can easily participate in these activities and enrich their and my learning experience. I also love to cook, especially with and for others. Since my kitchen is now large enough to hold more than one cook, I look forward to sharing that space with my child so that we can explore different cuisines together and they can learn simple techniques that will allow them to be self-sufficient in the future and enforce good eating habits. Since I like to eat, I also like to exercise. Reinforcing healthy habits are important as a child develops.
Thank you for taking the time to read my profile. I cannot even imagine what is on your mind or in your heart right now. I only know that you are trying to do what is best for your child. I share this vision and admire your conviction. I assure you that I will love and care for this child and I will never abandon or mistreat him/her. This child will inherit from me my faith, strength, security, resources, community, respect, and love. I hope that we will be able to talk or meet soon so I can hear about your journey.Bindu
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