Waiting to be Matched

Waiting to be matched with an expecting family can be a stressful period for prospective adoptive parents, but it doesn’t always have to be. The trick is to remain active and busy; this is a great time to educate yourselves about parenting and the adoption process.

We recently asked our Facebook followers how they spent their time while waiting to be matched, and got some great responses:

- Belinda R: “I tried to stay busy, but I have to admit I shopped for baby items that were on sale. Clothes, diapers etc.”

- Janet R.: “Meeting other STAR families. Now we get together for play dates!”

- Dana S.: “Took painting classes and started to paint to keep my mind busy. I became a pretty good artist! LOL!”

- Lynn M.: “We were blessed! The first time was only a few short months and the second…well, that was a wonderful surprise!”

- Stephanie R.: “I have been taking Karate class to keep busy.”

- Jennifer G.: “I exercised to relieve stress, and shopped for baby items ”

If you are looking for more information on waiting, adoptive mother, Lesa Quale Ferguson, recently wrote a two-part blog post on her experiences while waiting to be matched, that all waiting parents can learn from. Adoption STAR also wrote a blog post for our old blog, that listed “25 ways to wait to be matched.”

Remember, your Adoption STAR family advocate is always available to help you through any challenges you may be having and to answer any questions. If you would like to contact Adoption STAR, please do so by email email or by calling us Toll-Free at 1(866)691-3300.

 

Advice From Adoptive Parents

We asked our adoptive parents on Facebook page for some advice for potential adoptive parents, and received a lot of great tips. The common themes from all of the comments were to be patient and to enjoy the time alone with your family before a baby comes, both of which are great pieces of advice!

Another thing to do while you are waiting is to re-evaluate all of your grids. The more open you are in regards to race, open adoption wishes and possible health risks, the more profiling opportunities you are likely to have.

If you missed the Facebook post yesterday, here are all of the comments:

Parker G.: “Be patient and ready for rejection. Your child is coming. Sometimes the path is bumpy and other times it’s smooth sailing. Be patient.”

James R.: “Be patient, but also be ready. We had less than a week between getting matched and picking up our first. Luckily we had most of the things we would need (bottles, car seat, crib and so on).”

Melissa L.: “Enjoy the “wait”- whether it’s getting the nursery ready, reading parenting books, or just spending time with your spouse PRE-baby! And as others said, though the wait can be difficult at times, it is so worth it when you bring your baby home. ”

Marci K.: “Enjoy sleep.”

Allison S. Tuff: “Ditto what the others have said. Also, keep reminding yourself that YOUR baby will find you. If you are profiled and not selected…. and even if you are matched but then the match fails…. KEEP THE FAITH. Oh, and GO ON VACATION, and lots of dates with your significant other. It’s a lot more expensive and complicated to do when you have kids.”

Mark D.: “Keep busy by preparing what you can. When your baby does come, you’ll be super busy. Cheryl and I were so happy we prepared the nursery, had some clothes already, etc. We still needed some last minute stuff, but it helped to be partially ready. We only we had a few days notice!”

Shannon M.: “It’s worth the wait. No matter how long that wait is. Enjoy a nice night out with your spouse, because you won’t see many of those anymore. Also, sleep-in a few times, you’ll be lucky to sleep until 7. Believe me, that first smile you see and the first kiss they give you and the “I love you” they will tell you; out weighs no social life and sleep deprivation.”

Chuck F.: “Make sure everyone you come into contact with knows you’re trying to adopt. You never know where your match will come from. We were matched by knowing someone who knew someone, who knew someone, who knew someone, who was 7 months pregnant and wanted to surrender. (They) didn’t have a family picked, (and weren’t) with an agency, and didn’t know what to do. Eventually, it all worked out.”

Belinda R.: “Don’t give up. Remember that a baby is a baby not matter what race, gender or ability (disability)! Keep your options open; do not discount a referral because of race/disability. And most of all, pray before you make a decision!!!