After trying for several years with fertility meds, and then finally doing in-vitro with no success, we decided we had to figure out if we wanted to remain childless, or to adopt. We decided to adopt.
After searching the Internet for agencies to help us, I really liked the Adoption STAR website, because it was the most informative… and we started our adoption journey.
We learned a lot in the classes, especially how open adoption is not a bad thing but a positive thing, and this eased our minds a lot.
11 months later, on March 15, we got the call that there was a baby boy born already, the birth mom was committed to an adoption plan… were we interested? We said yes! I got the call 5 hours later that we were chosen. The birth mom signed the papers, and went home. I was ecstatic, and cried, and was happy, and scared, and happy, and very scared, and really really happy, but scared… all at the same time. Such a tumult of emotions, I cry now thinking about that day. I called my husband to tell him we were chosen and I think he was choked up a bit too. It was an awesome moment and a story I hope I can tell Jacob someday.
We picked up Jacob at the agency on March 17, with my mother-in-law and she filmed the whole thing, God bless her! He had on a little green knit hat as all the babies had on that day at the hospital, how cute is that? I saved it, of course, along with his outfit! It was a moment I will never forget. The first time I held him was not in a hospital room as most moms hold their babies, but at the agency in a special room set up for this occasion. I cried, my husband cried, the social workers cried, my mother-in-law cried, I am crying as I write this and remember that special moment of holding him for the first time. And changing him for the first time. Then it was time to go home, and calling everyone with the news that we were bringing our baby home! I thought of his birth mom quite often that first month, how she must be feeling, does she know what she just did for us and our family? Parents, and Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles were finally formed because of her. How do you possibly thank someone for that? How do you thank her because our hearts were bursting with love and her heart was breaking? I managed to find the words and finally sent her a note. And then we met for the first time when Jacob was 3 months old. We were so nervous, but she was more nervous than us! After our one year commitment to staying in touch with her was over, she still wanted to see him, and we agreed and have developed a beautiful ongoing relationship. We see her about 3 times a year. I also met her other children and her sister and her mother. I think she feels good about making an adoption plan, and sees that Jacob is happy, and that we are nice people who love him to pieces. She met my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law, who thanked her so much for making them a grandma and an aunt!
We always have a current picture of the birth mother, myself, my husband and Jacob and one of just her and our son hanging in our house and we refer to her as his birth mom. He doesn’t quite know what that means, but we did explain to him during our most recent meeting with her that he grew in her tummy, and he asked, “I grew in her tummy?” and we said “Yes, you did.” I am sure there will be more questions, and we are ready for them, we think! People who don’t know we adopted think he looks just like me or just like my husband! It is really amazing that he has my hair color and my husband’s eye color, since his birth mom is a red head with green eyes! The journey we took to Jacob was amazing!