This powerful piece, anonymously written, speaks to the heart of many prospective adoptive parents in the midst of “the wait” for a placement.
The Guardian US has a running series entitled, “A letter to….” It’s an emotional powerhouse of a series, as the letters are written by authors that have experienced some intense scenarios in life (and are utilizing the power of the pen to offer up commentary about said scenarios).
Adoption STAR CEO/Founder Michele Fried recently brought one such letter to the attention of Adoption STAR staff. The letter is from the 4/4/15 edition of the Guardian US, and is entitled, “A letter to….the social worker in our adoption process.” The author is clearly from the United Kingdom (as evidenced by some of the language, terminology, and adoption-related systems that are mentioned in the letter), but the thoughts and feelings shared in the piece are universally understood.
Here’s a link to the letter in question: A letter to … The social worker in our adoption process
In an e-mail to staff regarding this article, Michele wrote:
Here’s the paragraph that got me: “You told us not to give up hope. But we know that there are childless couples being approved as adopters every day who are more attractive prospects than us. And even though we are competing with them, we would give up our place in line; everyone deserves to have the unbelievable joy that we have been blessed with in our daughter. But there is no line and no place to give up. There is just a jumbled mess of sad, confused would-be parents with their lives on hold. Just like us.”
But then while the author is willing to give up her place in line, she so honestly writes: “I catch myself thinking, ‘Wouldn’t it be funny if while I was writing this we received an e-mail from you,’ and my heart momentarily blooms for no reason. I have to squash it. I can’t spend the next nine months like the last nine; checking my e-mails a hundred times a day waiting for a message saying our dreams have come true. You never tell us that. You can’t.”