Recently, we had a weekend visit the biological family of two of my children. It was long anticipated by the adults and children alike. Although we only see them about once a year, due to geography, it always feels like coming home. Like they complete our family, and we theirs. Over the years, nerves have given way to joy and excitement. We don’t fear these visits but look forward to them. They are a blessing, not a burden. Still, to others, maintaining these connections seems threatening, strange, confusing, scary, and not to mention, a lot of work.
For us, it’s none of those. For us, it is normal. And natural.
It’s the peace in knowing where our children come from and that their first family is ok.
It’s knowing, accepting and celebrating that there are others who love our children just as much as we do.
It’s the comfort in knowing that should we need to reach them for any reason, we can.
It’s the joy on their faces when they see their biological siblings, others who look like them, and the sense of belonging it brings.
Our children are not confused. They may ask questions in effort to connect the dots, but please don’t mistake their curiosity for confusion. They don’t question who Mommy and Daddy are. They will also never question whether or not they are loved by their first family, because they know just how very much they are. As they grow, they may ask tough questions, but through open adoption will have the ability to gain answers. For us, open adoption is a gift. A gift we give our children, and ultimately each other.
Read More about Open Adoption: Talking to Lori Holden on the Topic of Open Adoption, A Clear Definition of Open Adoption, isn’t it a spectrum?, When What I Knew about Adoption was Wrong, Open Adoption, Learn about Open, Semi-Open and Closed Adoption, One Family; Two Different Adoption Plans
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