Being the Grandparent in an Adoption Journey

This blog post was written by Adoption STAR grandmother, Judy Chick. It was written for Adoption STAR’s previous blog in 2010.

My heart had felt so much during my almost 65 years of life. It had felt joy and sadness, love and bitterness, happiness and sorrow, life and death. I didn’t know it then but there was a little piece of my heart that was missing. That piece of my heart was miraculously filled in.

They carried him into the nursery of the Adoption STAR Agency, all dressed in yellow. They handed him to my daughter who was seated in a rocking chair with her husband standing next to her. We were all there, except for my daughter’s identical twin sister who lives in Florida, but through the innovation of cell phones, she was able to see for herself and hear for herself. He was the most perfect little baby I ever saw. He had a pink complexion, black hair, dark eyes, little nose, and a rosebud mouth. It was love at first sight, except that everyone’s sight was clouded with tears of joy. The amazing thing was how much the baby looked like my husband (Poppy) and my son (his uncle). The adoption agency had the new mommy and daddy undress him to make sure everything was where it should be and to make sure they knew how to diaper him and redress him.

For those of you who wonder how you would accept an adopted child. Let me tell you. The child may not carry your genes or your blood but he captures your heart in his little smile, your soul in his tight little fists, and your mind in his sweet baby smell. For my daughter, who went through years of fertility treatments to no avail, adoption was an easy next step. For her husband it was more difficult. But when they received this little miracle baby, they knew everything was right. Many adoptive parents still wish to have their own biological children, but not my daughter and son-in- law. They feel so blessed by their son that they feel that God was watching over them and had this plan for them to adopt rather than give birth. People tell us how lucky my grandson is to be part of our family. We don’t feel that way at all. It is we who are blessed. My grandson is now 15 months old and continues to fill us with wonder. He is such a secure little boy, because he seems to know how much he is loved.

When he was 9 months old, our son and daughter-in-law gave birth to twin boys. They wheeled them into the hospital room where my daughter-in-law was lying on the bed. They gave one baby to my daughter-in-law and one baby to my son who was seated beside her. We were all there, except for my daughter’s identical twin sister, who still lives in Florida, but through the invention of cell phones, was able to see and hear for herself. These were the most beautiful babies you ever saw. They had pink complexions, dark hair, blue eyes, little noses, and rosebud mouths. It was love at first sight except everyone’s eyes were clouded with tears of joy. The new mommy and daddy undressed them to make sure everything was where it should be and to practice redressing them. Neither of the babies looked anything like anyone on either side of the family, and at 6 months, they still don’t. They carry our blood and genes, but more importantly they capture that piece of my heart and soul that had been missing .They continue to fill us with wonder.

My three boys all live nearby. Whether they were adopted into our family or born into our family makes absolutely no difference. The fact that they are in our family and I get to be their Grammy, matters a whole lot. My heart continues to feel all the realities of my life before them. But, the best part is that newly filled in piece of my heart that enables my whole heart to feel a greater joy, a deeper love, and an unbridled happiness that never existed before. Isn’t it amazing that people so small can matter so much.