A Birthmother’s Observations

A wonderful article that addresses the many-sided emotions that a birth mother can have regarding child placement.

n-MELISSA-AMATO-large570Adoption STAR Bookkeeper Jeri Olson came across an article this morning that she thought might have value for many of our blog readers (and we couldn’t agree more).

The following article was posted on the Huffington Post on 6/5/15. It’s a piece written by Melissa Amato entitled, “When Another Mother Raises the Baby You Gave Birth To.” You can find a link to the article here.

We appreciate Melissa’s insight in that it beautifully addresses how the loss of a child, no matter how that loss has come about, brings pain and sadness. It is necessary to visit issues surrounding grief and loss even if an individual is just considering adoption. Everyone is different and everyone will handle their emotions in different ways. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

It is important to remember that no one covers all the stages of grief and loss neatly and in a certain time period. At different times in our lives, we re-visit certain stages – much like Melissa has done. Even when a person is determined about their decision and truly believes their decision is a healthy one; they will still visit feelings of sadness.

Like many birth parents, Melissa acknowledges the grief she feels but can also recognize she’s attained a level of peace with her decision. Many birth parents say that in spite of the realm of emotions they have about placing a child, they still feel as though they made the right decision for their child by making an adoption plan.