I found this blog post from “Adoption Under One Roof” where Lisa S writes about being the parent of a kindergartner at the age of 58. She writes that her child can make her feel 30 years old and give her energy that she didn’t think she had anymore, but then she looks in the mirror and sees a 58-year-old woman.
This post reminded me of my parents. My mom and dad had three kids by the time they were 29 years old, and were empty-nesters at 47. I don’t think either of them were ready to be done parenting children, especially my dad, and they had a few discussions about adopting a young foster child. Now that they’re 54 years old I think they’re glad they decided not to adopt as they get to travel and be spontaneous, which they definitely did not have the opportunity to do in their 20’s, 30’s and 40’s.
I called my parents to ask why they ultimately decided they weren’t ready to parent another child and my mom said that after more than 20 years of parenting three children, one with severe special needs, she was finally focusing on her career and was excited to have the freedom for vacations. My dad on the other hand said that he probably would have adopted if my mom had been on board.
I’m 27 years old and I know that I’m not ready to be a parent, I also know that I am definitely looking forward to being a parent one day. It absolutely amazes me that when my parents were my age they were responsible for two children. I’m wondering, if you decided to adopt in your 40’s and 50’s what kind of concerns, if any, did you have about becoming a parent? How did you ultimately decide it was the right time for you to adopt?