Dispelling Birthfather Stereotypes

A beautifully written blog post by an adoptive father addresses the important role his son’s birthfather plays in the life of their family.

Adoption STAR’s Chris Fancher came across a powerful blog post recently, and we just had to share it with all of our readers. Before we share the link to the post itself, we wanted to say a few words about birthfathers in general.

As per information shared in their “Understanding the Birth Father Experience” curriculum, the folks as Spaulding for Children bring up a point worth noting: “In many cases of unintended pregnancies, men find themselves in a double bind: On the one hand, boys and men grow up believing they must fulfill the role of provider, protector, and decision-maker; they must take responsibility. On the other hand, birth fathers – implicitly and sometimes explicitly – are told to stay away. Pregnancy, childbirth, and child rearing are the domain of women. So, even men who want to ‘do the right thing’ sometimes feel that they’ve been left out of the process and sometimes are actually excluded from the process.”

Over the years we’ve shared several posts that are specific to birthfathers and birthfather-related issues, including (but not limited to) these:

Birth Father Rights

Birth Fathers – Grief and Loss

Common Myths And Facts for Birth Fathers

What About Dad? The Importance of Birth Fathers

I think one of the reasons we like the blog post we’re about to share is because it tackles the notion of the “stereotypical birth father” and turns it right on its head. As a matter of fact, many birthfathers:

  • Mirror the emotional experiences of birthmothers;
  • Assist in the creation of an adoption plan and choose to do so from a place of love and self-sacrifice;
  • Care for their children deeply;
  • Choose adoption not because they’re shirking responsibility, but because adoption feels like the most responsible option to pursue when in the midst of the unintended/unexpected pregnancy.

The blog post is entitled “An Unsung Hero,” and it was written by an adoptive father named Noah for his blog – The Love of a Father.