Two different perspectives on making the decision to place a child for adoption – a birth mother offers one perspective while a birth grandmother offers a second perspective.
“That day she was asleep when I told her goodbye. And that was also the day I had to sign the adoption papers. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I had to remind myself that I was doing this for her, but I cried for days afterward. Six months later, I received pictures and a 10-page typed letter from the adoptive parents, who agreed to send pictures of her every year. When people see a picture of my daughter, I get different reactions when I tell them I put her up for adoption. Most want to know more about the adoption process, and I gladly share what I know. But some try to condemn me for my decision, saying I ran away from the problem. According to them, I’m cruel and don’t deserve ever to have another child.
But I made my choice. It was the one that I thought would be best for my baby and for me.” – Christa Jones, Birth Mother
“I am a birth grandmother. My adult daughter and son-in-law placed their son for adoption. I didn’t know how to handle it. I was overwhelmed by their decision yet at the same time thankful that they shared their decision with me. I felt that this was a great loss for the family. Open adoption changed my feelings, however. Luckily today things are different then they were when I was growing up. Not only do my daughter and her husband keep in touch with the adoptive family through letters, pictures, and telephone calls, but they actually visit each other. My daughter has gotten very into adoption and talks to a lot of people about their decision. She doesn’t seem to regret it. I am included in this open adoption plan, too. We were recently all invited to the adoptive family’s home for dinner. I think this is such a healthy way to deal with adoption.” – Louise, Birth Grandmother.