This Adventure Feels Right

Michele FriedFounder & CEO Michele Fried explores how the adoption process often gets one to consider how both coincidence and fate come into play.

We have and have had clients who were devoutly religious as well as those who describe themselves as atheists and agnostics.

We have heard clients insist that a higher power has/had some intricate plan in their life, in the lives of their children and family. We have also heard clients wonder aloud if it was God’s plan or a coincidence or simply that they were lucky or unlucky when it came to their adoption journey.

Determining an answer to whether or not adoption is coincidence, destiny or fate has been a journey for many of us who work within the adoption field.

I am not a believer in destiny or fate, or whatever you want to call it; all I know is that this adventure just feels right. Adoptive Dad

First, as those touched by adoption we clearly understand the definition of adoption. Adoption in strict terms is a legal process.

While the adoption process goes through the courts and is made legal, as in all parent-child relationships it becomes so much more than that.

I would never have fallen in love with the work I do if I didn’t see that adoption is more than a legal contract—perhaps it is a relationship of promise much like a marriage is both.

Law and promise are different in principle however as one relies on conduct, and the other on acceptance of an unconditional gift.

At Adoption STAR we have witnessed families being created. We are honored to have observed women making the selfless sacrifice to identify an adoptive family for their children. Personally, I am forever grateful to be an adoptive mom. After 25 years of providing adoption services, I haven’t found an adequate word to describe adoption outside of its legal term.

At Adoption STAR you may hear some of us describe adoption as forever. Sometimes we say adoption is a miracle or that it must have been fate. It really depends on whom you talk to you and their own personal and professional experiences.

Years ago, an adoptive father wrote to me saying, "I am not a believer in destiny or fate, or whatever you want to call it; all I know is that this adventure just feels right."

And while I am unsure of so much, I am certain that my children and I were meant to find each other; that we were meant to be together. Why? Because from the moment I learned about each one of my children, until this very day, through the milestones of great joy and the bumps in the road that have caused great pain, the connection is so deep, so overwhelming, that there is no doubt I was meant to be their mom.

But I am also certain that this adventure feels right.

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