Top 10 Things I Did Not Expect About Being an Adoptive Mom

Adoptive Parent and guest blogger Amy Armstrong Amy Armstrong shares her adventures as a single mom to Simon.

I have been mulling around different topics in my head for several months now on what to write for a blog. There are many things that are unique to my adoption story:

  • I am a single Mom.
  • I became a Mom 1.5 months after finishing the home study.
  • I only had one profiling opportunity – this is when I said “Yes!” and my son’s birth mom picked me.
  • I finalized 1 year (53 weeks) after attending Adoption STAR’s orientation.
  • I received my son’s birth certificate 1.5 months after finalization.

Instead of writing about these things, I have decided to write about, and count down, the top 10 things I did not expect about being an adoptive Mom

10. Being a single mom is one of the easiest things I have ever done. I always hear comments such as, “how hard it must be to do this on your own.,”, “how do you do it?” − Honestly, I never never think this is hard. In fact, the only time I wish I had a husband through this process is when Simon does something for the first time and I have no one to turn to say, “Did you see that?” But that’s where my family and friends are invaluable. And this is what text, pictures, videos, Facebook, and phones are made for!

9. I didn’t expect to miss the middle of the night feedings. I miss that 2 a.m. snuggle time − time I was able to spend thinking about Simon’s future while watching re-runs of Golden Girls.

8. I didn’t expect that his room would always be the cleanest one in the house. I have an obsession with keeping his closet and dresser organized. MY closet on the other hand …

7. I didn’t expect that I would become a big basket of emotion. I was never an overly emotional person. Now I cry when Simon is sick, when Simon is well, laugh openly at TV shows, get angrier at injustice, and cry at Hallmark commercials.

6. I didn’t expect that I would also suffer through postpartum depression. The first couple weeks after Simon was born I cried every evening at 7pm for no reason. How could I be the happiest person on this earth and still cry?

5. I didn’t expect that I would LOVE being on maternity leave. I always thought that I could never stay at home with “nothing to do.” Little did I know that laundry, bottles, feeding, diapering, baths, cleaning, errands, etc. would take up so much time? I now could see myself as a stay at home mom.

4. I didn’t expect to become a homebody. I am perfectly content with staying in all weekend just spending time with Simon − not so helpful when it comes to a potential dating life!

3. I didn’t expect that I would become a more mature, outgoing, open, non-judgmental adult. Who knew that you could have a whole conversation about Babies R Us with another dad in the ice cream aisle at Walmart?

2. I didn’t expect that I could love someone so much! That I would love that Simon now cries when I leave the room. That I would love that Simon open mouth kisses me. That his poop and throw-up do not bother me one bit − just don’t ask me to clean up someone else’s kid’s excretions without a gag.

1. I didn’t expect that I would ever be a perfect Mom. I am, however, and will be a perfect Mom for Simon!




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