Wendy Lane recounts some recent work she’s been conducting with a birth mother who’s looking for assistance and support.
Family STAR has been getting a lot of calls from people not associated with our agency, but who are searching for a family connection. Some of the calls we receive are from adopted children who are looking for their birthparents, and others are birthparents looking for the children they’ve placed. The emotional weight that “the unknown” has on those searching is heavy. No matter what they are doing or where they go, the questions are always there….weighing on their world. Recently, I have been speaking with an older woman who has had the name of her birth child for 20 years and has never done anything with it because she does not want to disrupt his/her life. As her age is progressing, she is strongly thinking about contacting him to share some important medical information. This is clearly not a decision she is taking lightly; she desperately wants to do the right thing.
This one example offers an illustration of the benefits of an open adoption. If this adoption was open, then the child of this birth mother would have this medical knowledge and this birth mother would not still be struggling with this decision. If you or anyone you know is struggling with searching or possible reunification with an adoptive family connection, please feel free to call Family STAR at 716-639-3030.